Safety Planning

The National Center for Victims of Crime has created a comprehensive Safety Plan*, which we have reproduced for you here:

Safety planning is simply thinking about ways to protect yourself. Whether you are currently living in an abusive relationship, planning to leave or have recently left an abusive relationship, or are frightened of your current or ex- partner, safety planning is a way to help you think about your security. Creating a safety plan will not guarantee your safety, but it will help you identify risks and think about ways to minimize them.

These safety suggestions have been compiled from safety plans distributed by state domestic violence coalitions from around the country. Following these suggestions is not a guarantee of safety, but could help to improve your safety situation.

Contents (Topics):

Personal safety from an abuser
Getting ready to leave?
General guidelines for leaving an abusive relationship
If time is available, also take...
After leaving an abusive relationship...
    - If getting a restraining order and the offender is leaving...
    - If you leave...

Personal safety from an abuser:

  1. Identify your partner's use and level of force so that you can
        assess danger to you and your children before it occurs.
  2. Try to avoid an abusive situation by leaving.
  3. Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and
        where there are always ways to escape. If arguments occur, try
        to move to those areas.
  4. Don't run to where the children are as your partner may hurt
        them as well.
  5. If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target; dive into
        a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and
        arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.
  6. If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know the
        numbers to call for help. Know where the nearest pay phone is
        located. Know your local battered women's shelter number. Don't
        be afraid to call the police.
  7. Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and
        develop a plan and visual signal for when you need help.
  8. Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get
        involved in the violence between you and your partner. Plan a
        code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave
        the house.
  9. Tell your children that violence is never right, even when
        someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you   
        nor they are at fault or cause the violence, and that when
        anyone is being violent, it is important to keep safe.
  10. Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.
  11. Plan for what you will do if your children tell your partner of
        your plan or if your partner otherwise finds out about your plan.
  12. Keep weapons like guns and knives locked up and as inaccessible
        as possible.
  13. Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it
        fueled. Keep the driver's door unlocked and others locked -- for
        a quick escape.
  14. Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that could be used to
        strangle you.

  15. Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at
        different times of the day or night. Call a domestic violence
        hotline periodically to assess your options and get a supportive
        understanding ear.

Getting ready to leave?

  1. Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures, etc.
  2. Know where you can go to get help; tell someone what is
        happening to you.
  3.   If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and
        report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit.
  4. Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them (for
        example, a room with a lock or a friend's house where they can
        go for help). Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to
        protect you.
  5. Contact your local battered women's shelter and find out about
        laws and other resources available to you before you have to use
        them during a crisis.
  6.   Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and
        threats made if possible.
  7.   Acquire job skills as you can, such as learning to type or taking
        courses at a community college.

  8. Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold
        money for you.

General guidelines for leaving an abusive relationship

  1. You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave.
  2. If you need to sneak away, be prepared.
  3. Make a plan for how and where you will escape.
  4. Plan for a quick escape.
  5. Put aside emergency money as you can.
  6. Hide an extra set of car keys.
  7. Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and
       store them at a trusted friend or neighbor's house. Try to avoid
       using next-door neighbors, close family members and mutual
       friends.
  8. Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives,
       doctors, schools, etc., as well as other important items, including:

        - Driver's license;
        - Regularly needed medication;
        - List of credit cards held by self or jointly or the credit cards
           themselves if you have access to them;
        - Pay stubs; and
        - Checkbooks and information about bank accounts and other
           assets.

If time is available:

 Also take:
    - Citizenship documents (such as your passport, greencard, etc.);
    - Titles, deeds, and other property information;
    - Medical records;
    - Children's school and immunization records;
    - Insurance information;
    - Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will, and other legal
        documents;
    - Verification of social security numbers;
    - Welfare identification; and
    - Valued pictures, jewelry, or personal possessions.

Create a "false trail":
    ...Call motels, real estate agencies, and schools in a town at
    least six hours away from where you plan to relocate.  Ask
    questions that require a call back to your house in order to leave
    phone numbers on record.

After leaving an abusive relationship:...

If getting a restraining order and the offender is leaving:

  1.     - Change locks and phone number;
  2.     - Change work hours and route taken to work;
  3.     - Change route taken to transport children to school;
  4.     - Inform friends, neighbors and employers that you have a
          restraining order in effect;
  5.     - Give copies of restraining order to employers, neighbors, and
          schools along with a picture of the offender; and
  6.     - Call law enforcement to enforce the order.

If getting a restraining order and you leave:

  1.     - Consider renting a post office box or using the address of a   
          friend for your mail;
  2.     - Be aware that addresses are on restraining orders and police
          reports;
  3.     - Be careful to whom you give your new address and phone
          number;
  4.     - Change your work hours if possible;
  5.     - Alert school authorities of situation;
  6.     - Consider changing your children's schools;
  7.     - Reschedule appointments that offender is aware of;
  8.     - Use different stores and frequent different social spots;
  9.     - Alert neighbors and request that they call the police if they feel
          you may be in danger;
  10.     - Talk to trusted people about the violence;
  11.     - Replace wooden doors with steel or metal doors. Install security
          systems if possible;
  12.     - Install a lighting system that lights up when a person is coming
          close to the house (motion sensitive lights);
  13.     - Tell people you work with about the situation and have your
          calls screened by one receptionist if possible;
  14.     - Tell people who take care of your children which individuals
          are allowed to pick up your children. Explain your situation to
          them and provide them with a copy of the restraining order;
  15.     - Call the telephone company to request caller ID. Ask that your
          phone be blocked so that if you call, neither your partner nor
          anyone else will be able to get your new, unlisted phone
          number.
                         ____________________________


* The "Safety Plan" is a part of the FYI Program of the National Center for Victims of Crime. All rights reserved. Copyright © 1998 by the National Center for Victims of Crime. This information may be freely distributed, provided that it is distributed free of charge, in its entirety and includes this copyright notice.

Note: The materials contained on this website are for information and educational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Please contact your Legal Aid of North Carolina office or a private attorney if you need to speak to an attorney regarding your particular situation. Please see our disclaimer.

 

 

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Disclaimer

The materials contained on this website are for information and educational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Please contact your Legal Aid of North Carolina office or a private attorney if you need to speak to an attorney regarding your particular situation. See our complete disclaimer.

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Legal Aid of North Carolina is a statewide, nonprofit law firm that provides free legal services in civil matters to low-income people in order to ensure equal access to justice and to remove legal barriers to economic opportunity.

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